i + i = Agony

Agony is the only word that comes to mind the past two days. Think about the worst period cramps you have ever had then add 10. That’s what I have been feeling. Takes my breath away. Let’s rewind for a moment. On Tuesday I had my mother flushed my pain medication. It was beginning to mess with my mind. I started thinking I needed it and obsessing over it. With my history and some discussion with my network it was decided that I should get rid of it. I’ve come way to far to go back. So back to today. I really really could have used that medication. I spoke with my nurse Debbie at around 11:00 am to discuss this big clump of what I can only guess was my uterine lining that fell out while I was in the shower. She confirmed that is what it probably was. This occurred 2 other times throughout the day. As I laid I the couch debilitated I picked up the phone again at 3:00 pm. I again spoke with Debbie explaining the pain that I was in for the past day and a half. She said “you never mentioned that to me before”. She placed me on hold and came back. I need to arrive at 9:00am for a check up with my doctor. First I need to get blood work in the first floor not second like usual. Hummm? So just for safety I will not eat or drink anything. I pray that nothing is wrong but just in case I don’t want to wait 8 hours to have anesthesia like I did last week. So when 9:00am hits pleas say a prayer for me. Tomorrow is the day that Phil starts his interferon and I am supposed to be going home to take care of him this weekend. I need my health.

Jessica (cramping)